Birth mothers and adoptive parents often do not like to hear what I have to say. I suppose hear what could happen to your child is frightening. I do not blame them. If I have seen some future experiences of mine, I would be scared too.
My first attempt at suicide was when I was 14 years. The other attempts came to my 20, when finally achieve the strength and courage to make life and death on the table. If the death was going to be elected; commit and end things. If life is elected; commit and never go to the option of death again. Life was elected and at night face my demons physically eye to eye and told them that no longer serves a purpose in my life and never allow me screaming me-me to take.
See, as an adopted internal pain is so deep and painful it is not surprising statistics are high for suicide and substance abuse among adopted.
With the system constantly protecting the biological mother, once more that are rejected to know our origin. Not to mention the media portrays us as self-absorbed people who are trying to create chaos in our parents, when everything that finding a relationship or understanding from where it began.
Why do you want society to keep constantly in the dark? Why win the secrets and lies along the integrity, forgiveness, understanding and compassion? Life is not fairy tail, nor does it have a happy ending, we all have to die someday and pending birth and death, in which we live. Why is like an adopted since they were introduced into this world, our lives and the way we live - is decided by us? "You have no right to file his birth," which translated means "you do not have a right to know who you are." "You can not find her mother, she is protected by law." Why everyone has a beginning and an end and only have a sorta thing, but it really does not begin with an ending that does not know very well because we are not so much to our medical information that could contain important to details about our genetics, but because our right to know where we come from is illegal - to continue living in the mysterious cloud of uncertainty.
And when / if you do locate her mother, she often found to keep you from knowing the truth. Is it not surprising that the pain of rejection, abandonment, lies and secrets prevail in the deep dark abyss of our being. How can it be ignored?
This hard to see the reality is called education. I get tired of hearing about adopted I knew taking his life because they can not cope or do not know how to treat or not supported in how to deal with.
Why forgiveness can not be replaced by anger and fear? With access routes to cure, such as books, workshops, web pages and therapist specializing in adoption, there is no excuse for the lack of self-education any longer.
It’s time to grow up, stop playing the victim in our situation and take the wonders of life. I had a crazy-solving life, however, I was tired of being unhappy constantly by my own volition. Step; make a difference in your own life. Find forgiveness from you and others. Take responsibility for your own actions - finding love for yourself first. Be happy and grateful for the experiences that have led to this moment. Embrace being taken and find ways to help others through their life experiences. As selfish as it sounds, to help you with your problems. Absorb and educate you about the adoption issues flying around your mind and soul to help stop the past and move forward. Nobody is alone in this process. All have felt and trafficking in similar situations.
Making the conscious choice to be free and build his own foundation, with or without the help of "knowing". It is entirely up to you, your choice.
As disconnected as we may feel, we are one. We are survivors who promote change. Help Yourself, helping others. Being a leader in his life, not a follower.
"A good leader inspires people to have confidence in their leader. A great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves." ~ Anonymous
Rock on!
 
Trish Lay is a Certificate of Life / leadership training - motivate people to trigger a positive change in his life for over 20 years. For more information go to: http://www.SoulsAtPlayProductions.com or contact her directly at: TrishLay@gmail.com

I never feel so strong and confident as when I’m helping kids to find their own strength and confidence. That’s my motivation with Operation Pull Your Own Weight.
In a very real sense it’s selfish. I’m doing it because I feel so good about myself when I’m doing it. The vibes of appreciation I receive when those kids get stronger and stronger, week after week, and more and more confident in their own natural abilities to set a goal and achieve it in small but relentlessly persistent increments of progress is unique in my life. Under these circumstances, I suddenly feel like Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Indiana Jones, Wyatt Earp, Muhammad Ali, Tiger Woods, and Elvis all combined in the eyes of these kids. I am unique in their lives.
If I Got This Kind of Lift From…

If I got the same kind of lift from climbing some corporate ladder, from running for public office, or from anything else, I’d be climbing a corporate ladder, running for public office, or doing something else that gives me the same amount of return on my investment of time and effort. But to date, nothing else compares.
There’s no thrill of victory like the one I experience when seeing a young boy or girl learning to say "Oh yes I can," in the face of a real challenge, tackling it with unreserved enthusiasm, giving it 110%, having learned, and knowing in their heart of hearts that if they relentlessly persist, they will inevitably cross that finish line.
In the words of the late Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never, never, never, give up!" Not quitting is one very important form of winning. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts.
The Moment The Catch Their First Glimpse…

And the moment a child catches their first glimpse of the potential sitting out there on their own horizon, as long as they get a little stronger every week, every month, every year, is the moment they start approaching life in a different way, with a different attitude, with an excitement and an enthusiasm that was never there before. Let’s just say, "For most everything else there’s Master Charge."
And by the way, when I say kids, I’m talking about kids from 3 to 93. The fact of the matter is, when you help someone become stronger and more confident, no matter how old they are, you will have created a relationship that’s unique. There aren’t that many people in anyone’s life who produce that kind of experience. And if you’re one of them you will stand out from the crowd. You will hold a unique position in the life of that person, whether they’re an elementary school student, or a rock and roll star.
The Clock Keep on Ticking

So in answer to all those folks who have wondered why the OPYOW clock keeps on ticking inside me, it’s because doing it makes me feel so good about me. To repeat my original statement, I never feel so strong and confident as when I’m helping kids to find their own strength and confidence. So there, I’ve said it out loud. If that were not the case, I’d be unable to persist. The flame would flicker and die. But it has not and now you know why. It’s all about me and how it makes me feel about myself.
 
Rick Osbourne is a Chicago based writer who currently serves as Executive Director of Operation Pull Your Own Weight, an informational web site that’s dedicated to naturally immunizing kids against obesity for a lifetime without pills, shots, or special diets. If you’re interested in childhood obesity prevention, then check out either http://www.pullyourownweight.net or http://www.pullyourownweight.com any time. Osbourne is also a public speaker, and he’s recently published a book entitled "Operation Pull Your Own Weight: A Radically Simple Solution to Childhood Obesity," (on the web site) that provides practical minded parents and educators with a simple, functional, affordable, and infinitely measurable antidote to childhood obesity. Osbourne can be reached by email at Osbourne.rick@gmail.com.

There is no failure gene in your DNA, so there is no need to worry about it. Just imagine, your mind is a goal-seeking, goal-achieving part of you, and it carries out those operations in a machine-like manner. You can never fail in your efforts to master the power of your mind, but you must persist.
Here is why. The portion of your mind that we are referring to here has as its sole responsibility seeking out and achieving the goals you direct it to seek out and achieve. That is all it does, day and night. It never rejects or counters any of your directions.
Please do not confuse the goal-seeking, goal-achieving area of your mind with the self image. This goal-seeking, goal-achieving area never argues whether your directions are for your good or not. It never moralizes your directives to it. It simply accepts your directions, achieves what you direct, and brings it into your physical world.
"If this is true," I hear you ask, "why am I getting so many unwanted things in my experience? Surely I did not direct my mind to bring this stuff to me." I would have to agree with you to a point. You probably did not consciously direct your goal-seeking, goal-achieving mind to bring a shortage of money, illness or other misfortunes into your life.
However, when was the last time you consciously gave ANY directive to your goal-seeking, goal-achieving mind? Do you ever remember doing it? When was the last time you paid conscious attention to what you are consistently thinking all day and all night? Have you ever done such analysis?
If you are like I was and like most people are, you probably have never paid much attention to what you are thinking on a daily basis over an extended period of time. Your mind is likely running on automatic pilot, with the exception of the few times you are shaken into awareness to deal with some urgent matter.
What is your goal-seeking, goal-achieving mind doing when you leave your mind to run on automatic pilot? Well in the absence of your consciously giving it goals (directions), it simply analyzes its subconscious surroundings for the most emotionally charged goals it has achieved for you before (whether wanted or unwanted).
Whether you previously gave conscious directives to it to materialize those goals is of no importance to it. It selects them, based on your state of being and delivers the associated conditions to you.
There may be hundreds or even thousands of those pre-set conditions in your subconscious mind awaiting a signal to join forces with the goal-seeking, goal-achieving portion of your mind to produce the experiences with which they are associated.
The point of all of this is that you are now in possession of the only fool-proof, fail-safe, and perfect success system in existence, your goal-seeking, goal-achieving mind! Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to clearly communicate to it what you desire to experience.
This I know for sure. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin controlling your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.
 
Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To: http://www.MasteringYourMindPower.com.

I received an email this morning from a dear friend about the horrors going on in Burma. The deadly Cyclone has already killed up to 100,000 Burmese, and has left tens of thousands more in imminent danger of death from hunger and disease. Although the world has responded with emergency supplies and aid, the Burmese military regime is blocking all efforts to get relief to the people. Burmese Buddhist monks, prominent and student leaders, and others, have issued a public appeal for the UN to stop waiting for permission from the Burmese military regime. This email was a plea to click on a link that sends a letter of appeal to the Chinese UN Ambassador to use their power to apply pressure to persuade the Burmese government to allow the UN to move in and immediately dispatch relief.
As I read more about the disaster, both natural and political, I found myself feeling overwhelmed, flat out helpless . . .not knowing where to begin. I began to feel a separation of my world and theirs; a sort of disconnect from the reality of the people of Burma. I began to feel small and helpless and fragile. How can I possibly help and how to begin…? I clicked on the petition… to try to feel like I’d done something effective with my mouse and moved on. But, I was left feeling like it wasn’t enough this time.
So, how then? How do we begin to help the world in crisis? How do we start to address the huge problems, the massive disasters that show themselves in the media everyday? How do we start to become helpful and effective without bringing the burdens and anger into our own daily lives?
And then, I remembered one of my favorite quotes:

"Let him that would move the world, first move himself."

- Socrates
So simple and so right. Just move… begin. DO what you have been intending to do in your life. Everything. This might sound trivial, but just the exercise of YOU moving… will begin a snowball, a world wide butterfly effect.
The term Butterfly Effect derives from science. The idea is that tiny changes within a complex system lead to big results that are impossible to predict. So, in layman terms, the flap of a butterfly’s wings could create tiny changes in the atmosphere that lead to high winds somewhere else on the planet. A tiny movement here… creates a landslide over there. And so it is with your actions; a small accomplishment here… could cause a huge positive movement over there.
A butterfly in the Amazon flaps his wings because he has to… unaware of his effect. We have the ability to flap our wings with purpose. So begin now… today. Put intention and focus behind your actions. Commitment to what you’re doing, to what you do is the key. If you’re building a house, really build the house. If you are teaching children, really teach and know why you are doing it, know what you are creating. Put all of your energy into everything that you do. Even if you’re just washing the dishes, really wash the dishes with a sense of purpose, a sense of the big picture. If you commit yourself to your every action, you will connect with your sense of purpose. And that sense of purpose will become your wings. It begins inside you. Your intention, your purpose to do good in your life will have a greater effect somewhere else. So everything you do… no matter how small or insignificant it may seem… will have an effect.
Take a look at your intentions. Are you doing everything that you can? Do you have a list of "to dos" that are slipping by you undone? Have you been meaning to donate your time to a cause but just haven’t done it? Consider your reasons for procrastinating and begin to understand why.
Just begin to move yourself. Now. And know that your sense of purpose, your wings, can make a huge difference in this world.
 
http://www.creative-personal-development.com.

One of the things I learned throughout my college years is that you can decide who you want to be and no one can stop you. If you know how to apply the law of attraction to your life then life will go just as you want it.
In this materialistic world you can have anything your heart desires. If you just focus on what you want and throw away what you don’t want then your thoughts will manifest to reality.
Don’t think about what you don’t want. A lot of people doubt the law because the stuff they don’t want comes back to them and it’s only because they think about that. When I look back at my childhood, the DVD player, the bike, the basketball, it all came to me only because I imagined that I had it. The law of attraction is amazing and with it we can literally change our lives and open up a good path for a promising future.
My plan is to become a medical doctor and I’m focusing on it constantly and I also plan to be financially secure so I’m thinking about money constantly. I want to be a great doctor as in being knowledgeable and I so I concentrate on that. I don’t say "I hope" to get what I want; I say to myself "I know" to get what I want. So, it’s easy and the key to it is focusing on it. I want to get into a med school so I look up the med school I want, and I focus on it constantly because I know that I will eventually get admitted to there.
 
Azmi J. is a prospective medical student. He is the owner of http://www.garamblog.com where he offers detailed advice of self improvement.

Are you in the same old place? Are you looking to have a break out year? Looking to take charge of your life? Many people start off their Networking business with great hopes but no idea what it takes to make it successful. One must understand this simple but hard truth. We are where we are in life due to the way we think and the actions we take. If you are not in the place you want to be then we MUST change our thinking and actions. We must learn to develop daily successful habits that will set us apart, especially the area of fear.
Managing Fear
I don’t know of any area that might be more challenging for most of us. Highly successful people are always challenging themselves and operating out of their comfort zones. Your comfort zone got you where you are today, so if you want to expand where your at you will need to expand your comfort zone. When we try to overcome our fears by common sense and logic we usually experience limited success. Anytime the left brain (the logical side) and the right brain (the creative or imaginative side) try battle it out the right brain usually is the victor. How many times can we recall making something so big in our minds that we did anything to avoid approaching it. How about when we finally faced it? Did it turn out much easier than we expected? There is an old adage that says "action cures fear" and it is true. Action does cure fear, and the more you do something the easier and easier it gets. That is fine if we can get ourselves to that point, but that is exactly the problem- how do we get ourselves to take action? Now that question is not so easily answered, and once again I can easily write a book about this one point. Fear has many heads, it shows itself in many forms. See if you recognize any of these- procrastination, avoidance, lack of motivation, laziness, unorganized, perfectionism, not the right time, not enough knowledge, etc. These are all signs of fear, can you identify what you typically do? Anytime we try to expand ourself we increase the interaction between ourselves and others, and as we express our values and beliefs we open the door for others to reject these. So as we grow we are always going to experience feelings outside of our present comfort zone. The first thing one has to accept is that it goes with the territory, learn to embrace it.
So lets try to tackle this issue in way that we can see measurable results without writing a whole book. There are only two natural fears that we are born with, the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises (there is some debate as to whether these are fears or reflexes). All other fears are learned. As we grew up we learned to associate feelings, emotions, and actions to certain situations. The event in itself does not have meaning we assigned it meaning; when a,b,or c happens we determined that we feel x, y or z. This could be emotional pain, physical pain, or perceived pain. It can come from a personal experience or something we witnessed happen to another person. It all comes down to how we associate the event to the outcome in our minds. We are constantly linking things and events together. We link these events together with pictures, self talk, emotions, sounds and smells. One of the first things is to realize how you associate these events together. For most people the primary method is self talk, or pictures though we are always using a combination to some degree. Self talk can be so powerful that almost everyone I mentor discovers they use this at some level. Many people have a small voice speaking to them all the time and they don’t even recognize it on a conscious level. So what we need to do is to rewire our brain and give new meaning(s) to the associations that are holding us back. This is definitely going to take some very quiet time with self reflection and self examination.
Learning to do this is actually quite easy, it is more of just becoming aware of your thoughts- the sounds, pictures, or feelings running through our mind. What is the primary mode that you use? Mine is definitely self talk, but pictures are also very powerful for me. Now think of things that make you uncomfortable, or fearful. Maybe it could be something like cold calling someone on the phone you do not know. When you recreate this in your mind, what is going on? What pictures do you see? What sounds do you hear? What emotions are you experiencing? In what parts of your body? I discovered that when I get nervous I tighten up in my chest and have very shallow breathing. Just focusing on relaxing that spot and breathing deeply helped me a great deal. At first it took a little effort, now when that recognize that feeling, I can say to myself 3, 2, 1 and it is gone. It will become that fast and easy! I started by picturing the phone in my hand while sitting on a beach in a tropical setting. I experienced it to the maximum, I could see the beach, feel the sand between my toes, feel the sun and breeze against my body, hear the sound of children playing, and the lapping of the surf on the beach and embraced the total relaxation I felt. I used self talk to congratulate myself on taking action, using positive affirmations. I then did the opposite- I pictured all the pain I could think with not making the call. I pictured myself working to I was old, fat, tired, hopeless, and alone. Pain and pleasure are the two greatest motivators we have, use both to your advantage. I do this when I am using steps 3 & 4, this is why putting up pictures and sayings are important. When I use my quiet time in the morning going over what I must accomplish for the day is when I use the exercise of closing my eyes and creating positive pictures, emotions, and self talk. I imagine just how I want that particular event to go, and see it with a positive outcome. I then do this for all my important daily events, weekly events, and life purpose. This will take less time than you expect and you will be empowered to take on the day and its challenges. I also do this just before I take action on the event. Doing this daily will lay the foundation for your subconscious mind to attract the outcomes you desire, and help you overcome your greatest fears.
1. Learn to become aware of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, self talk, etc.

2. Identify the areas that cause you the greatest tension, fear, anxiety

3. Identify what your primary mode for handling fear, like perfectionism, lack of motivation, etc

4. Get pictures, quotes and anything that has meaning hanging up where you see it everyday

5. Spend some of the quiet time in step 4, going through your daily challenges

6. Now attach positive images, sounds, pictures, emotions to the event (see a positive outcome)

7. Attach negative images, sounds, pictures, emotions if you don’t take action

8. Do this for your main daily goals, weekly goals, and your ultimate lifestyle
Bottom line is this-YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS HAVE TO BE BIGGER THAN YOUR fears. Which ever one you feed the most will drive you; do you want to be driven by your fears or your dreams? Remember doing what you have always done will give you what you have always had. Doing the work will pay dividends!

"The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action." Herbert Spencer
By far the biggest hindrance to your success will be inaction. We can come up with all sorts of excuses for not pulling the trigger. It doesn’t matter what comes out of our mouth. I want to lose weight, I want to start a business, I want to learn a language, I want to run a marathon. What are you going to do about? Fire up the computer of course!
The internet is a blessing and a curse. It provides us with so much information, that when we get an idea we can search and investigate all the information available, literally forever. We can analyze all the trends, review all the products, review all the reviews, and so on. Granted, the investigation process can be important and is technically be considered "action". But if all we do is read and study and learn, we have been caught in the whirlpool of analysis, trapped in the black hole of investigation, set adrift in the Bermuda Triangle doldrums, stuck spellbound by the magic…well, you get the idea. At some point you must commit to making the mistakes and experiencing the pain in getting to where you want to go. You must decide at some point, "am I only in love with the ‘image’ of being what I want to be?" or "Do I want to be it, or DO it?" The right answer is that you want to Do it. Really though, too many people are in love with the idea of being what they want to be…and then magic will happen. They’ll simply continue exploring that dream, forever.
There are five critical reasons to avoid Analysis Paralysis.
1. Analysis paralysis will eventually make you lose interest in even the greatest ideas. It’s like sitting through the same Power Point presentation over and over. Eventually you’ll get bored.
2. The brain needs to take action to solve problems. Your brain is a super computer, that solves problems 24 hours a day (yes, while you are sleeping), but it needs up to the minute real world experiences (data) to operate effectively.
3. You will enlist more support if people know you are committed. If you say to someone "I think I’ll go to Bora Bora." They’ll say, "that’s nice." If you stand by the door with your bags packed and the tickets in your hand, they’ll say "want a ride to the airport?"
4. You’ll never be totally prepared. Repeat, you will never be totally prepared. In this changing world, the circumstances you are preparing for now, most likely will have changed already.
5. You could die tomorrow having never tried. OK, that wasn’t quite fair. But eventually we all run out of time. As written in the Talmud "if not now, when?"
So be bold, commit, and act. The degree of your action will indicate the depth of your commitment, and it will move your mind and spirit to overcome any obstacle that may present itself in the path to reaching your goal. So here’s your Bonus Reason!
6. You’ll never GET IT, if you don’t DO IT! And there’s probably more but I need to get this published!
"Action without vision is a daydream, vision with out action is a nightmare" Japanese Proverb
 
Frank Mira is a business consultant, sales trainer and motivational speaker/author. "Ready, Fire, Aim" is his motto. He believes ‘analysis paralysis’ gets in the way of taking action. Get "Satisfy Yourself" Be, Do and Have Anything!’ FREE with membership at http://www.kissdietu.com He keeps himself motivated with great music, visualization and quotes from http://www.quotesgiftshop.com

I have been amazed at the rate of success and failure between brothers, sisters, relations, schoolmates, peers and the like - Even at same circumstances, environments and events. There is always a landslide between them. Some succeed so much while some fail so much. Some remain at an average quota all year around, while some keep increasing and some falling.
Who are they?? You may ask me. They are those individuals who are or were able to legally do what they wanted and when the wanted it done, who were able to scale thru the hurdles of beginnings to the top of their careers, who were able to hold onto their careers and become the best until they reach the position of both financial, emotional, spiritual and relational freedom.
I then conducted a research into the lives of most successful men around town and these are my findings:
1. The Power Of I Can
I found out that all successful men started out by believing in the power of "I CAN" They believed that they will make it in their different businesses and kept faith. They did not give up when it seemed so dim; neither did they give up when they were faced with little or great failures. They believed that they did not have no other option but to hold on. They believed in their dreams and did not allow the environment to rob them of it. I know you have a dream, just like Martin Luther King Jr. keep dreaming bigger and bigger and bigger and believe in your dreams. Then on a fateful morning, your dreams will come to manifestation.
2. The Power Of Perseverance
The second formula I got was the power of perseverance. Successful men kept on keeping on. They refused to be intimidated by failure or success. They kept reminding theirselves that they must persevere until the end of their lives. They committed all their lives to their careers and were not distracted by their environments. They focused on success. Look not at where you are coming from but focus all your attention on where you are going. Persevere, persevere and persevere!
3. The Power Of Hard Work
People like the famous world acclaimed scientist Albert Einstein, worked and worked so much that they lacked they chance to go partying with friends and neighbours and peers and mates. Their wives are not always happy about a little neglect they suffer now and then. For one to become the best in his or her career, one must always work hard, work very hard and work very very hard. Put in all your efforts, inspirations and aspirations to your work and you will meet favour in uncommon hours they say. Imagine Beethoven or Mozart practicing on their pianos more than 10 hours daily. Put in 10 to 12 of your daily breathing hours into your career and you will be amazed at the result at a long run.
4. The Power Of Integrity
People like Bill Gates remembered not to become greedy at all. Nevertheless, utilized the power of integrity at all levels of their careers and today they live to enjoy the fruits of their labour. In all your dealings with your customers and clients, never fall to the temptation of money. Try as much as possible to live above money. Do not work for the money but let the money work for you.
5. The Power of Giving
I remember the Philanthropist, Carnegie, Who single-handedly spent most of his wealth giving to the society. Or is it the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation? For you to really remain successful even after you demise, then begin to practice the power of Giving. Give to all and sundry. Give not only when asked but give liberally. Support other weaker people and support them to stand and you never know when your rewards will start coming.
This is just a tip of the iceberg. For you to become successful, you must apply all these simple formulas to the later.
 
About the Author.
Juddie Passion is a motivational speaker, webmaster, blogger, internet marketer and publisher. He is the president of http://www.jpassions.com and http://www.pcomms.com Visit his personal blog at http://pcomms.com/passion

Monday through Friday, Joe is a disciplined worker. He’s on the job bright and early, hits it hard all day, and never in a hurry to dart out the door at quitting time.
Joe is young, energetic; college educated, and enjoys his job and has, for the past 9 years. His health and stamina are excellent
Family life was good growing up, but Joe lives alone now, in a swank apartment in the right part of town and commutes back and forth to work in the latest piece of European speed-machine technology.
Always dressed in the latest Label offerings, Joe has a piece of gold wrapped around his wrist that gives him the time with a glance and catches the eyes of the ladies.
Breakfast is always at a trendy hot spot, lunch is sometimes business related, but always top-notch, and dinner is a nightly affair at the city’s best restaurants.
Joe has a great life and he spends his money so that everyone can see that he is doing well, but he’s not. Joe is flat broke, in fact, he’s past broke. Deep in debt and commitment, Joe is treading water in a lake full of alligators.
Why do people throw their money around? The answer is complicated.
The outcome is embarrassing when money is thrown around to give the illusion of having money. The higher you live, the more it costs to maintain the lifestyle and hold up the façade.
It’s even more embarrassing to give up the kind of life that you’re use to. If you buy your underwear at a specialty men’s boutique, going to the local discount department store just doesn’t feel right. More importantly, to you, you don’t want anyone to know that you wear underwear from a department store.
Five dollar coffee is more fun to buy than a fifty-cent cup. Face it, its fun to spend money. It’s a special feeling. It’s a feeling that Joe has become addicted to and like a junkie, he’s hooked with no intention of stopping.
Every day thousands and thousands of people are spending money to feel good about themselves. Some are quick to buy the latest and greatest item to hit the shelves or the showrooms, because they work hard and they tell themselves that they deserve it.
Wealth is built slowly, but it’s very hard and takes discipline not to give-in to the bombardment of advertisements telling you why you should buy, rent, lease, consume, share, indulge, pack a bag, or experience what they have to offer. You work hard and you owe it to yourself.
Wanting to set yourself apart from the commoner, you bite and bite hard. Not just an apartment, a palace that has a monthly rental higher than the GDP of a piss-poor Asian country. Great suits are, well, great, but you need three dozen of them. Do you really?
All the accessories have a price tag, but they’re in your must-have mental column of success.
Day after day, you throw your money away on stuff in order to show people that you have money. Joe isn’t alone is he? Of course Joe isn’t alone, he’s fitting in. He’s got the lifestyle to go along with the perception of how he should live.
Most people in the U.S.A. have less than one thousand dollars in the bank. Most people in the U.S.A. have more than one television, more than one vehicle, and more than a handful of credit cards.
The safety net used to be a savings account that you could fall back on, now it’s a thin little piece of plastic with a name, number, magnetic strip, and computer chip.
Something happens, don’t pay for it; put it on one of your credit accounts. Rationalize in your mind that you are helping the economy by spending, and you are. Two-thirds of the U.S. GDP is from consumers, like Joe and you, spending money for things that in many cases, you don’t need.
Throwing money away on expensive food and drink is a sure way to go broke. You can eat well while dining out, but pass on the wine list from time to time, find new spots that have atmosphere, but not over-priced entrées.
Every item in your closet does not have to be dry cleaned, steam press a suit to keep it looking sharp and give it added life. Wear quality, but base your wardrobe around certain colors, not every color and every style. Choose your style and roll with it for a while.
I just read an article about one thousand dollar haircuts; you have got to be kidding. However, there are those who need to spend that kind of money in order to feel good about themselves.
As an Investment Executive, working in the Beverly Hills office of a firm, I had some interesting clients. Although I can’t mention them by name, I will tell you that the flashy dresser would come in and then drop by my office to tell me he just put a thousand dollars in his account at the firm and that I should figure out how to direct it.
On the other hand, I had a large number of clients who drove floppy-fender Buicks, wore, nice, but not expensive clothing and they would come by the office to deposit six or seven figures.
The people, like Joe, are working so hard to let the world know that they have money, when in reality all that they have is a mountain of obligations and no clear path. The wealthy people know that it takes time to become wealthy and every five dollar coffee is one step further that you walk away from accumulating real wealth.
The steps are simple and often misunderstood. Who ever said that you should live within your means is an idiot. Live thirty or forty percent below your means.
If you say that you can’t do that, it’s because of one of two things; you are living way to high for your income or you are not making enough money at your employment.
You can get a better job, get more education so that you can get a better job, start a business on the side while you are working full-time at your current job, come up with a better plan for your current business, or keep doing what you are doing and wind up broke at the end of the trail of life.
Do you know how much money that you spend during the course of a week? Do you spend all you have, more than you have, or more than you would like to spend?
What do you spend your money on? Write it down, make a list, keep track for just 30 days and you’ll see where the leaks are and the areas of improvement will be obvious. If you don’t make a list of your expenditures, you will just keep on doing what you and Joe are doing.
Writing down your expenses is magical, it will embarrass you, delight you, and make you really think about how you can cut your expenses and still live well.
A ten dollar shoe shine or a one dollar can of polish and a rag capable of one hundred shoe shines? It’s your choice.
I’m not telling you how to live, I’m suggesting that you take a serious look at how you are living and at your own pace, make adjustments.
Sometimes it just takes an idea to get you invigorated and excited about the future, rather than dreading another day.
Joe lives great during the week, he should have a lot of money socked away, but his lifestyle and his weekend partying has left him absolutely obligated to get up Monday through Friday and hit it hard. This is why he’s a good worker, he can’t afford to lose the goose.
People have asked me in my life; how I keep coming up with ideas. I have secrets about creative thinking and I finally put pen to paper and created an easy to understand eBook about creative thinking.
It’s nothing complicated, but my methods show how to think creatively to solve problems, create products, and condition your view of the world around you; seeing what others can’t.
When it comes to money you have to be creative. Imagine this scenario. You get paid and you have, in your mind, three hundred dollars to spend until the next pay day on anything that you want.
You get a raise and all of a sudden you have four hundred dollars of discretionary income to get you through the week and you spend it all, even though you’re making more. Then it happens; your income drops back to the three hundred dollar weekly discretionary level. What do you do? Pull out the plastic to maintain the lifestyle that you have become accustomed to, but you’ll only have the money to make the minimum payments on the debt.
Month after month, when the taste of the meal is long gone, when the usefulness of the electronics that you put on your plastic, because they were on sale, become obsolete, and the clothes are no longer stylish… the debt obligation remains.
Memorize these four letters; S.T.O.P.
1) Stop torching yourself with debt obligations.
2) Take a moment to think about whether or not you really need something before you scribble your name on a paper receipt.
3) Organize your finances so that you know where your money goes rather than watching it mysteriously go out the window.
4) Practice restraint, kill the impulse buyer within.
You can be in a real financial jam and turn it around in a hurry with some discipline, a plan, and a list of what is really important to you in life.
So, the next time you see someone spending heavy, throwing their money away to show that they have it; know that they don’t have it.
 
Lazz Laszlo is a former Investment Executive and Radio & Television Financial Reporter with many entrepreneurial endeavors to his credit. He spends his time as an emcee, public speaker, enjoying life and writing articles and eBooks about business, creative thinking, travel, retirement, strategy, and pleasure. Lazz’s website; http://www.925-wage-slave-alternatives.com

Over the years, many people have asked how to find more clarity and focus in their lives. When I’ve asked them what they mean by clarity, they answer:
"A clear sense of what I’m here to do, I’m not really excited about anything anymore and I want that feeling of passion or excitement back again (or to find it for the first time)".
I answer them by asking what’s bothering them first. (Because the very thing we can learn from most is the lesson that continues to come back to us.) What surprises us is that our passions get bogged down by the resistance to letting our problems go. In other words, we can get stuck in a pattern of trying to the "same old thing the same old way".
Our real lesson is to allow normal life situations to teach us and give us what we need. If we "fight the flow", we’re really fighting ourselves. But, when we honor the lesson, the energy inside of us opens up, (blossoms) and then we’re free again to create what we really want in life.
Some of you may say:
"But, Paul, this sounds a little too "New Agey" for me".
It depends on what you REALLY want in your life. If you want life to be simple and to be in flow (great results with less effort), this may be a good time to just let go of the "old way" and move forward…
Let’s look at today’s theme once again,
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
What sense do you make of this wisdom? Are you prepared for the next steps in your life?
Are you ready to be more *passionate* about what you really value in your life?
Are you ready to blossom and grow?
You have genius within YOU my friend… it’s there…. I can see it - Can You? : - )
Let’s go on a little "mini" - vacation for a moment or two…
Ask yourself:
"How can I awaken my Dream or Vision today?"
"What step can I take that will energize my Dream and support humanity in some way?" (even if you don’t yet know)
"What COULD it be?"
Close your eyes for just a moment…
Take a deep breath…
b - r - e - a - t - h - e
Take a moment and write down YOUR Dream or Vision: (or something you’d LOVE to do in your life)
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
Ask yourself:
"How can I energize this Dream in my life today?" (What simple step could I take now to FREE this energy within me?)
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
When you choose to just . . .
b - r - e - a - t - h - e
Your energy field opens up and you begin to blossom again - and you begin to re-discover the REAL you . . .
and your Life’s Dreams begin to awaken . . .
And so it is…
: - )
 
Paul Bauer - Founder of Dreams Alive.com
Author of Infinite Abundance, and the "Secrets of Manifesting"
Get a free preview at http://www.dreamsalive.com/Infinite.htm